This is the real job of facilitators. If you have done a good job of planning and introducing the dialogue, this part should be much easier. As a facilitator, you have two basic responsibilities – to guide the dialogue inviting open and free conversation while trying to keep the conversation on track and to protect participants from those who abuse the basic ground rules. As a guide, you must keep an eye both on the intellectual quality as well the emotional atmosphere of the conversation. At the same time, it is important for you to know that you cannot expect perfection from yourself or others. The basic idea is to enjoy yourself and invite others to enjoy the process of coming together and talking about these issues of civic importance.
Guiding the dialogue – A few suggestions:
1. Keep the purpose and the goals of the dialogue firmly in mind, encouraging comments that represent many different points of view yet do not stray too far from the central theme or topic.
2. Listen carefully to all comments, trying always to find the common elements or threads that bring people together even when their points seem to be polar opposites.
3. Ask open-ended questions that encourage people to elaborate and clarify their positions. Questions like, “What inspired you to become active in the community?” is better than “Did the Volunteer Center get you interested in community work?”
4. Remain open minded and non-judgmental even when participants make comments that you radically disagree with. Perhaps the greatest challenge for the facilitator is to be neutral while leading these dialogues. It is critical for you to model good listening and questioning techniques that move the dialogue forward rather than appear to take sides on an issue.
5. Periodically summarize and synthesize or reflect back major points so that participants can see how comments tie into one another and move the discussion forward. When you do this, make sure that participants feel free to correct you if they do not agree with the way you have restated their points.
6. Encourage participation from everyone, attempting to get diverse opinions into the discussion while making the discussion informative and fun. Make a special effort to get the quiet ones to speak up. Often the quiet ones have been listening carefully and have comments that will unite points previously made.
7. Pace the session suggesting when it is time to move on to a new topic, time for a break or time for a couple of minutes of silence to give people a chance to integrate ideas. Using silence after a question, between comments or in strategic locations helps to preserve the rational nature of a dialogue and to diffuse the heat that can carry a conversation from a dialogue into a debate.
8. Don’t be defensive. Not everyone will agree with the topic, the activities or the company but it is important that you not take comments personally. You did the best you could and it is difficult to please everyone. Try not to let your language or body language show that you have taken a dislike to someone in the group who seems to be a negative force.
9. Be flexible even while trying to keep the dialogue focused. If the group seems to be comfortable with a diversion, state that you think that the group is off the topic but give them some time to discuss the topic if it seems important to them. “If I could interject, you all seem keen on talking about the terrible relations between campus security and the neighborhood. Let’s go ahead and lay that on the table for ten minutes and then get back to our topic of student activism in the community.”
10. Remember that you are a facilitator not an expert. A facilitator should not feel that she or he has to have answers to questions, know all of the facts, be able to cite references or any of the other marks of authority often associated with group leadership. Your task is to bring out the best from the group, not to be the most articulate spokesperson.
Protecting participants from those who would abuse the ground rules is a more unpleasant part of the task of facilitators. You can minimize the likelihood that you will have to do much of this “refereeing” if you plan carefully, seek the right participants, lay out the ground rules clearly, and run a session in which participants generally respect one another. But people can be difficult, especially when the topic open for discussion is one for which people feel some degree of passion. The most common problems or conflicts which will need “managing” are;
• The person who talks too much,
• The person who never talks,
• The person who gets off topic,
• The person who is overly aggressive and always wants to argue,
• The person who attacks other people rather than discussing the topic,
• The person who uses conversation as an effort to feed his or her ego,
• The person who is never serious but enjoys fooling around.
As facilitator, you have a common set of tools or approaches for dealing with these problems. They are presented in order of their use beginning with the least obtrusive and moving onto the most direct and confrontational.
• Use the unity of the group. If you are successful at getting people to accept the ground rules, the group itself can help you in keeping the conversation on track, gently side stepping issues or diverting attention away from would be troublemakers and/or to bring in shy participants. Recognize the peacemakers in the group and call on them if and when you need allies.
• Use the agenda/ground rules to manage individuals. Quietly remind the group of the topic if someone starts to move in a direction that you believe pulls the conversation off topic. Remind a participant of the difference between a debate and a dialogue if you feel that their statements are too confrontational. Sometimes confrontational comments can be softened by clarifying questions. “You say that ‘all politicians are crooks’. Can you describe some of the conditions that are forced upon a person in politics that might make an honest man a little less honest?”
• Be honest. If you have established yourself as a person with the sincere interest of the group in mind, you may want to simply issue an honest statement. “We are getting off the subject here and while the point you raise is an interesting one, I want to make the best use of our time to help us understand the stated topic.”
• Use humor. If you are comfortable with the use of humor, you might try to make light of someone’s abuse of ground rules. “Well, I guess we know where you stand on the issue. Is there anyone who has an open mind on the subject.” This can be dangerous if you don’t know the person and/or have not established the right rapport.
• Accept a position but soften it. Sometimes recognizing someone’s extreme position may be accepted and used as a way of inviting other, less extreme points of view. “Joe, I hear you and your absolute objection to capital punishment. I wonder if someone can restate the objection in a way that leaves room for conversation with others who don’t share Joe’s conviction.”
• Take a break. If none of the above techniques work to alter the behavior of a participant and the behavior continues to detract from or derail the dialogue, you might want to take a brief break and speak quietly with the offender asking them to restrain him or herself or withdraw from the conversation for the good of the group. This step is seldom needed.
